How it all started..

 

I turned 25. My quarter-life crisis hit me full force. I was a little over a month into marriage and I had a fear of losing "myself" in my wedded bliss. I loved (and still love) my husband, and I loved supporting him in all of his various activities. I soon realized, however, that my "hobbies" had become going to watch HIS softball games, HIS basketball games, and hanging out with HIS friends while HE played music. I freaked. What did I have that was MINE?! I am sure my Mom felt this way at one point or another with 3 kids pulling her in 100 different directions with sporting events, music lessons, horseback riding, etc. But I am not a mom yet, I am a wife.

 

So, I started reflecting on my life. What did I like to do? I drew a blank. Then I realized.. through high school and college, my hobbies depended on the guy I was dating. One guy liked the outdoors, so I did too. Another guy liked the music scene, so I did too. Maybe that is why I was so devastated after break ups? I not only lost the guy, but the friends, and the hobbies that went along with him. Then I had a real come-to-Jesus moment. Had I treated these guys as idols? Had I found my worth in them? Had I put them before the Lord that I serve and worship? The thought wrecked my heart. Luckily I serve a God whose grace and forgiveness comes in undeserving abundance.

As a daughter of the King of kings, the Great Redeemer & the Most High God,  it occurred to me that I was worth much more.  Surely my Heavenly Father wants me to enjoy and explore this wondrous life He has given me.   I just had to figure out where to start.

One thing I have always enjoyed is writing (and receiving) letters. My Great Uncle Dave and I have been pen pals for a while. I reached out to him..maybe he would have some ideas. Boy, did he!! He wrote me a letter back with pages and pages of suggestions, from one extreme to the next. Knitting,   Racey Casey's Smokin' Hott Clothing Boutique, adopting a dog, joining a theatre, and starting a blog are just a few of his suggestions. My responses: Knitting? Eh, maybe. Racey Casey's Smokin' Hott Clothing Boutique? HA! No. Adopting a dog? YES! Joining a theatre? Maybe. Starting a blog? No. No way. That was until I went to the Becoming 2013 Conference.

 

My mom and I signed up for this ladies only retreat that focuses on "becoming" a Proverbs 31 woman. The speakers gave workshops on couponing, entertaining, DIY crafts, fashion, etc. I was inspired by all of these women, and learned that many of them had started by blogging. They blogged about meal prep, homeschooling, crafts, etc. I decided then and there to start a blog about finding myself within my marriage. I love my husband, and love supporting him in all of his hobbies and endeavors..but I should not feel guilty about finding my own. This blog will follow me on my journey to find myself and learn new things.